Setting goals can be pretty overwhelming. There is so much to work on sometimes, right? We, as a society, are just plain busy. Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, email, texting, blogs, news and so much more! We are constantly being bombarded with information! It can be overwhelming.
My outlet has always been being creative. When I’m creating is when I’m most excited about life and most at peace. So, it’s not surprising that a few years ago when life became more difficult than I could handle, the first thing to go was my creativity. Away went my camera, my scrapbooking supplies, my ink and stamps, all of it. Boxed up and ignored. Every time I thought I might want to do something, even a simple something, all of the life crushing pain of that difficult time came pouring back in. I would quickly drop the thought of creating anything and run from it!
- My prayer for the last few years, my sincere prayer, was that God use me where He wants me. I started getting nudged to be creative. Nope was my answer. What else Lord?
- I offered to Him that I acknowledged that He had really gifted me with an ability to coach and encourage people. I just knew things sometimes and could give them advice and I knew it wasn’t from me. I offered that up. God smiled and said, yes, do that.
- I worked and worked at it. I tried to make it happen. I prayed and cried. Lord, why isn’t this working?!
- Where is the creativity in what you’re doing?
- Oh Lord, I can’t do that!
- Lord, please show me where you want me. I felt nudged to write and create. Nope. What else Lord? Please show me where you want me!
- Oh Jesus, I want to serve you and be where you want me to be and do what you want me to do! I started dreaming of the creative things I used to make and the things I wanted to make. In the morning upon recalling the dreams, I would again be overwhelmed with the overwhelming pain of that particular time in my life. The anger, frustration, and complete heartache would wash over me and I’d run from the idea. Instead of making a card, I would just sit and cry over what I lost.
I prayed harder for direction and for it to be super obvious because I can be dense.
So this started with great gusto about two years ago. Two Years! It took me two years to listen? No, it took two years for God’s plan to be perfectly laid out and to move me to where I needed to be to accomplish it! OH that feels me with so much emotion! Love, Joy, gratitude, humbleness, and more.
Every excuse I’d been handing up started to be resolved!
- Lord, I don’t have the time! I’m so tired in this job.
- Done. I got laid off. I knew in that moment it was from God and I never suffered a second of remorse. I felt great peace in that decision.
- Lord, I have all of this emotional baggage that I can’t get past.
- I’m a Young Living essential oil distributor and the conference was in Salt Lake and my husband and I went. Just before leaving I was introduced to something called the Aroma Freedom Technique (AFT). I am a very down to earth, straight forward, must be logical person. My AFT intro shocked me! So much that I will write a second blog today and tell the whole story and then I’ll come back here and link it!! That’s how stunning it was!
- Anyway, I told my husband about this amazing experience and that this was a brand new process and they would be at the convention! We determined we would find them and learn more. We went to the convention with 30,000 other people. The AFT people (I was so shocked by what I experienced that I hadn’t even taken notes on who I needed to find!) were not listed in the agenda so I didn’t know where to find them. By the end of the week I was tired and had given up finding them. Friday morning I found myself standing in a long line waiting for a class to open up. I was on my phone – doing nothing really, I just didn’t feel social! I felt a strong nudge to talk to the woman next to me. Nope. I don’t want to. Talk to her. No, I’m too tired and she’s busy on her phone. Talk to her. I don’t have anything to say and I’m not good at small talk. Talk to her.
- Note here that I knew it was the Holy Spirit talking to me and I was IGNORING it!! I was arguing! ugghhh
The woman in front of me addressed those of us in line and asked our name and where we were from. I answered, she answered Angie and we kept going. The woman then asked us what we did other than Young Living. I answer and then the woman next to me, that I’d been being led to talk to and was avidly arguing that I didn’t want to, replied that she was the personal assistant to Dr. Perkus of the Aroma Freedom Technique.
I felt my head spin to my right and my chin hit my chest! I knew my eyes were way too big and that she felt my surprise as she actually moved away from me a little! “You are who?” She replied again. Oh Lord, you are so good!! Even when I’m being a spoiled brat you love me. What I said was, “It is so very nice to meet you Angie, I was introduced to AFT just a week ago and really want to learn more! Can I connect with you?” She said yes and added me to FB right there in line! A week later I was signed up for the course so I could share AFT with others. I wanted everyone to experience the shift that I had!
- I didn’t need AFT. It wasn’t for me. I needed to use it on others and use it I did! I reached out to everyone I knew and gave session after session away while I learned the technique and because I knew how powerful it was!
- No clients though. Although everyone raved about the amazing results and wanted more free sessions, they were suddenly too broke to pay for a session or simply didn’t find it worth paying for.
- I prayed again for God to use me so that I could change lives in his name. Again I felt creativity come forward. I can’t Lord, not that! Please, anything else! And then I wrote a blog post. I hadn’t written in years! It wasn’t great, but it felt great to create!
- I knew I needed to deal with my issues so I did an AFT. Not much happened. I wasn’t actually ready to deal with it and I knew it. I was hiding in the pain. If I put myself out there again, I put myself in the path of all of that pain again and I didn’t want to. I had a few friends start praying for me and one day I woke up with so much going on in my head! I was angry and frustrated and overwhelmed with reminders of the past! I grabbed my oils and sat down. I was ready.
- Through AFT I found the shift that I needed. I absolutely understood how I had connected my pain to my craft and how I had been holding onto things that I needed to let go. I heard in my head “WHY are you holding onto that? You don’t even want it!” I felt the shift in that second. I didn’t want it! I was mourning something I didn’t have and it had stopped me for years and in that second I not only understood I didn’t actually want it, but I let it go! I stood up and through the most anguished tears I’ve experienced in a very long time, I said out loud what I should have done years ago. I forgave. I said out loud what I forgave and who and found myself pouring out things I didn’t even know I was holding onto! When I was done I was exhausted and felt so light!
Was my life made perfect and wonderful in that moment? No. I was freed from the bondage of hurt, pain, and unforgiveness. I finally gave it to God and that day that happened I had the most amazing epiphany and wrote a blog post on the Armor of God. I was so raw and vulnerable that day, I needed protection and out of the blue, the Armor of God appeared in my thoughts! It was spectacular and I walked through the steps and then sat down and wrote that post! I wrote it with all of the love and passion that I was feeling in that moment! And it was good! It was so good to write and imagine and to create and share!! YES!!! God used my pain to heal!!! I found myself reciting I am full of Joy, gratitude and grace. All the time! Randomly I would find myself repeating it over and over in my head. I am FULL of Joy, gratitude and grace. Always!
I have my first creative workshop coming up. I’ll admit I am terrified! What if, what if, what if! What if they don’t like it? What if I am boring and not creative? What if it’s no good? What if no one likes it.
So my word for 2018 is GUSTO! I considered Boldness, but I want more than that for my life! I want to not only be bold enough to do what I’m called to do, but (despite the fear) I want to tackle it with gusto! My Vision Board Workshop is online through Zoom this coming Saturday. Despite the fear, I’m going to go through with it with